


South Park and the Wizard Stone

by Internal_Screaming



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, HP AU, Harry Potter AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:17:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Internal_Screaming/pseuds/Internal_Screaming
Summary: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and many others of south oark are invited to a strange school that is across the sea, a place known as Hogwarts. A strange headmaster known as PC Principle runs the school, and the boys are subjected to a world of magic and wonder! But knowing south park, it won't be just sunshine and magical pixies, nope. We still have the foul mouthed, use of petty insults, and multiple Kenny deaths (most likely once per chapter)! If they boys were know for spreading world wide chaos, who knows what they could do with magic!Delve into the magical world and witness the boys go through adventures, sports, and fighting off really weird and terribly named villains. And swearing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After searching google, I could not find a fanfiction with this thpe of AU, therefore i decided to write one myself. For those who dug through archive hell, I hope you enjoy!

"You've got to be kidding me," Stan sighed, pinching his forehead. The four boys stood in front of a brick pillar, all leaning on their carts stacked with all their belongings.

Mr. Mackey shuffled forward and pointed at the brick pillar, "I told you Stan, wizards don't lie, m'kay? You have to make a hard dash at that there pillar, m'kay?"

"You know, I prefer not getting a concussion," Stan said as he took a step back.

"No way, I think Kyle should go first, he defiantly gets to see magical train first," Cartman snickered.

"Fuck you Fatass," Kyle snapped.

"Mfl mnf mfst," Kenny muffled and stepped forward with his cart. He looked at the others who only stared back, then looked at the pillar and took a deep breath. Then he dash straight at the pillar, and vanished.

"WHOA HE'S GONE! ME NEXT ME NEXT!" Cartman yelled, shoving Kyle and Stan aside and running at the pillar next, in which he also vanished. Stan and Kyle looked at each other and then back at the pillar.

"Fuck it," Stan huffed and dashed at the pillar as well, Kyle close behind, in which the pillar opened up to an absolutely different platform, a bright red, old style train on the tracks, ready to leave on a moments notice. Kenny waved to the two boys from the window, Cartman showing up behind him and disappearing again as he dashed around the train. Stan and Kyle looked around, in which Mr.Mackey showed up once again without any warning.

"Alright children, find a seat on the train and the house elves will take care of your luggage, m'kay?" He said as he nudged them towards the train. They hesitated, but moved forward, quickly finding themselves in Kenny's booth.

"This is so weird," Stan muttered as he took a seat next to Kyle, Kenny sitting across from Kyle and staring out the window.

"You're telling me, it's weird how almost every kid in our town got one of these letters, and how nearly no one knew what it meant until our parents told us," Kyle explained.

"I always knew I was a wizard," Cartman bragged as he showed up in the booth doorway.

"No you didn't asshole," Kyle argued.

"Ya-huh, my Mom told me when I was 4," he said with a sneer.

"Whatever," Stan sighed as they watched Cartman sit next to Kenny who had stopped looking out the window. "So what do you think we will learn at this place?" Stan asked.

"Probably really cool stuff, like, turning people into frogs! Or! Or! Or using magic to make someone your slave!" Cartman pointed out.

"Or maybe just small things like changing the colour of something," Kyle suggested.

"MmmMm Mnkn hnh hrls!" Kenny guessed.

"Whatever we do, I hope it's cool," Stan said as he leaned back against the seat. Suddenly, the train jerked to a start which knocked Cartman off his seat and sprawling onto the floor, the rest of the boys laughing at his spectacular and pathetic fall.

"OY, SHUT UP," he yelled as he sat up and crawled back into his seat, muttering,"screw you assholes," as he did so.

"I just hope that we aren't dragged into some enormous mess because of miscommunication or some other dumb reason," Kyle said. All the boys nodded in agreement to his statement.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and the opened it to see a small wrinkled old lady pushing around a cart of sweets. "Candy?" She asked.

"HELL YEAH," cheered Cartman as he jumped out of his seat and began to circle the cart of treats. "I want that! And that! Ooh! That too!" Cartman said as he filled his arms with all types of weird looking candy.

"That will be one gallon," the small lady said with a smile.

"A what?" Asked Cartman. The little women pulled out a round gold piece and presented it to Cartman. He looked at it for a moment, then snatched it out of her hand.

"Hey!" Yelped the woman. Cartman then proceeded to give it back to here.

"There we go! One gooloon!" He said as he did so. The woman fumed but took it and moved on angrily. "That was soooo easy," Cartman laughed as he sat down with his new snacks.

"That wasn't cool dude," hissed Kyle as he glared at the other boy.

"Oh whatever! It's not like you have any of those weird coins or anything you stupid jew!" Cartman said as he opened a box of what looked like jelly beans and shoved a handful into his mouth.

"Kyle's right, that wasn't cool," Stan said as he glared at Cartman.

"Hmuh!" Kenny agreed with Stan.

"Oh yeah? Well guess what? Screw you guys, I'm going home!" Cartman whined, then took all his treats and left the booth. They boys watched him leave then turned to each other.

"How long do you think it will take him to realize that he's on a moving train?" Kyle asked.

"I bet 5 bucks that it takes him 10 minutes," Stan said.

"Mm mmt hmmhmm," Kenny countered.

"I'd say 15 minutes," Kyle bet. They sat there in silence for a few seconds, awkwardly looking around.

"How long is this trip?" Stan asked. Kenny and Kyle shrugged in union as an answer. The boys looked around once again, kicking out their legs or twiddling their thumbs.

"Man, this is boring," Kyle finally said. At that moment, the side of the train exploded right next to Kenny, which sucked him out of the train and onto the flatland at frightening speeds as he screamed in terror.

"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!" Screamed Stan as he clung to his seat.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Yelled Kyle as he also clung to his seat. A crazy looking man in a cloak jumped through the hole in the train and stood in front of the boys, his face hidden by a large hood and his cloak flapping madly.

"WHERE IS IT!" He shrieked.

"WE DON'T KNOW!" yelled Stan as he tried to avoid getting sucked out of the train.

"You have it! I know you have it! He told me a small boy has it!" The man hissed.

"There are like, 20 other kids our age on this train!" Argued Kyle. The man stopped for a moment then continued on his rant.

"Yeah, but you are part of those 20 and therefore you COULD have what I'm looking for!" He stated.

"We don't even know what you want!" Yelled Stan.

"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!" The man screamed.

"God damnit," hissed Stan in annoyance. "We don't have what you're looking for!"

"That's exactly what someone would say if they DID have it!" The man yelled.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and the man was sent flying out of the train, yelling in anger.

"Are you kids ok?" An older man asked as he led the two out of the booth.

"Yeah I think so," Stan answered. "What did you do?"

"Oh, I used magic, just a push spell, that's all. I'm Professor Mr. Garrison," the professor answered as he introduced himself.

"Well, thanks for killing that psychopath," Kyle said.

"Yeah, no problem! You boys must be frightened pretty badly, this doesn't usually happen,... or at all actually. I think we should move you two to a different booth," The professor said as he lead them out of the destroyed booth and down the train. "What did he want anyway?"

"We don't know! He just kept yelling at us, he thought we had something!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Yeah, who the hell was he?" Stan asked.

"Hmmm, I'm not too sure," Professor Mr. Garrison muttered. "Oh here we are, a new booth! Now try to relax, we are nearly there."

"Where?" Both boys asked.

"Hogwarts! Where the fuck did you think we were going? Disneyland? Well it is a magical place... but that's beside the point," Professor Mr.Garrison explained. "Now get in your schools clothes!"

"What school clothes?" Kyle asked.

"These ones!" Professor Mr. Garrison exclaimed and tossed the cloaks onto the boys. "Don't lose them, you have to wear them during school hours!"

"A dress code?" Kyle mumbled.

"This blows," Stan signed.


End file.
